Parents do not babysit their children
Author: Melissa Lahti
July 29, 2012
As a woman I am going to write this article from a woman’s perspective but really it can go both ways because when two people make a baby it is the responsibility of both parents to raise the child. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work that way. Any woman, who has a child, has a man in her life that helped her create that child. Raising that child together,unfortunately is always an option for either parent.
What do we do when a man loves his child and wants to be in their life but only when it is not an inconvenience to them? Should a man be allowed to call being with their child when the other parent is working, “babysitting”? If not then what do we call it?
I feel that if two people are together raising a child then it should be a responsibility that falls on each parent 50-50. This means a parent should not be allowed to keep a checklist of all the things they have done for their child each day and stop when it gets full. This means a man should not be able to say: “I already watched her this morning when you went to work so if you have a meeting this afternoon you just need to take her with you.” Parenting is a full time job that never ends. Once a parent, you will be a parent for the rest of your life and you will have duties to perform until the very end of life. Parenting is an endless job!
Having two parents in a child’s life should be a blessing. Not everyone has this privilege for one reason or the other. So when there are two parents and one insists that they have “done enough already” what do you do? As a mother, who is not a single mother, but has to act as if she is, what should she do? Should a man be allowed to tell a woman that she cannot go to an exercise class at night because he already watched his child earlier in the day while she worked for four hours?
Both parents need to be helping each other out with working and free time. Everyone needs time to be themselves, especially if you are a parent. Being a parent is enough to drive a person nuts. If you don’t have time to spend on yourself you will be stressed and sick. All ladies should be allowed at least one night a month to have ladies night and all men, in turn, should be allowed to have a men’s night also.
With the cost of daycare these days, not many people can afford it. Is it right though when a mother has to find a babysitter for everything she does while the father just goes about his day doing whatever he needs to do? I feel, the only time a child should need a “babysitter” is when the mother or father have something planned at the same time and neither one can watch the child. If this is becoming a problem and the father is saying he has already done enough for the day, then it’s time to reconsider your life situation and make some grown up decisions.
Being a parent is not babysitting and there is no limit on the time you should have with your child. No one should be allowed to add up the hours spent with their child and if one parent has an appointment, the child should automatically go with the other parent. Period! Regardless if she is having a night out with the girls, going to work, or going to an exercise class. It’s time for the men to buck up and take some responsibility. If you are a woman that is lucky enough to have a man that does his part, never let him go!